Emotional Intelligence and Your Success
You have probably known someone, maybe a friend or a colleague, who you regard as both intelligent and highly skilled yet for some reason isn’t that successful in life in general. At the other end of the spectrum, you might know someone who is extremely successful, yet you wouldn’t consider them to be the most intelligent or highly skilled. So, what is the reason for their success? What makes people successful in the workplace and in life in general, if it isn’t related to intelligence or skills? Well, it all comes down to something called Emotional Intelligence (EI).
We have all felt at one point or another unwilling slaves to our emotions. Where our emotional response overrules our typical thinking process, and we simply lose control. One of the reasons we react in this way to certain triggers is that we are biologically wired to respond habitually and emotionally to events. This reaction process is linked to the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls our emotional processing.
While not directly linked to the decision-making processes located in the prefrontal cortex, the amygdala can take over in certain decisions with an emotional response. Road rage is a classic example of being caught up in the moment – getting angry or easily offended by other drivers, instead of thinking rationally about the situation and calming yourself down, you get wrapped up in the in the moment and start to plan your revenge on the road. This is an example of emotional hijacking, a situation where emotions overpower our rational thinking.
The amygdala’s action is an emergency override, a fight or flight or freeze survival tactic. It interprets a threat, which in turn provokes an immediate and aggressive reaction and sometimes this emotional hijacking is needed. It works very well for example if we’re being attacked or fleeing a dangerous situation, as we would have encountered often in early human history. However, the majority of the time these days this response is unnecessary. Today, the challenge is learning to manage the amygdala because if it’s out of control you’re likely going to get into trouble.
So what is emotional intelligence and how does it link to success?
The Harvard Business Review defines emotional intelligence as an individual’s ability to accurately recognise, understand and manage their own emotions as well as others. It is the key attribute that distinguishes outstanding performers, and the leading differentiator between employees whose IQ and technical skills are roughly the same.
The concept of EI was first made popular in 1995 by psychologist Dr. Daniel Goleman, in his book ‘Emotional Intelligence’. His research, along with many studies has found that EI is about twice as indicative of success as IQ. IQ once out of school does not predict career success as many might think. Self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills all signify EI, and they are what play a vital role in an individual’s success.
EI means you don’t let your emotions rock you so much that you can’t maintain your focus, you sense what other people are feeling, and you put that all together to manage your relationships. That’s what makes people a star in the workplace. This cognitive control from a scientific point of view is the ability to know what your goal is, keep it in mind, and pursue it despite distractions or anything else that happens.
So how do you improve your emotional intelligence?
The good news is emotional intelligence isn’t hardwired into your brain, or genetically predetermined like your eye colour it can be learned and improved upon.
Here are some practical tips for improving your EI:
1. Meditate – Meditation grows the region of the brain responsible for focus and attention. It strengthens the circuitry for the prefrontal cortex and helps you handle the amygdala so you don’t lose control. Studies have shown that meditation can reduce the amygdala response in people who practice mindfulness meditation. It also cultivates your ability to have a preserver perspective and build up your resilience to getting upset.
2. Read more fiction – according to studies at York University and the University of Toronto; ‘individuals who often read fiction appear to be better able to understand other people, empathise with them, and view the world from their perspective.’
3. Play games – playing games allows you to practice cognitive control, which is training your brain to concentrate and focus more. This allows you to tune in to your emotions more.
4. Sleep smart – sleep deprivation affects your emotional intelligence severely, as the part of the brain associated with focus, decision-making, and social control becomes less active.
5. Don’t use your device before bed – laptops, computers, desktops, televisions, smartphones, tablets, etc. The light from these devices, when used at night, suppresses melatonin (sleep hormone) and produces more of the daytime hormone, cortisol, disturbing your night’s sleep.
6. Exercise – there’s a direct correlation between emotional intelligence and the amount of exercise you do. By doing physical activity you become more aware of yourself, especially exercise that deals with your spatial awareness such as working on your balance.
7. Practice delayed gratification – balancing temporary pleasure with long-term goals, allows us to analyse the bigger picture and most importantly our emotions.
8. Practice mindful eating – becoming more aware of your hunger and fullness cues. Pay attention to the process, enjoy your food, and be more in the moment when eating.
9. Self-reflection – emotions give you feedback to help you adapt to your environment, learning to understand and control those through self-reflection creates more control.
10. Observe others – in observing other people we learn a lot about ourselves and our own behaviours, as well as building empathy.
You can clearly see how people with high EI have increased chances of success. If you wish to build your EI to open more doors and boost your success, develop your emotional intelligence by putting these tips into action. See more of our wellbeing blogs to help you achieve balance and harmony in your life.
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